Going it alone

One of my biggest fears in becoming a mom to two under two as a pregnant mom was that I would have to do most nights alone, without the help of my husband. I worried about how I would be able to get bedtime routines coordinated. How I could make dinner with a toddler and newborn. How I could shower. How I could manage it all.

I’ve done it alone at least five times since becoming a mom to two. And with each five times, things have gone smoothly. Relatively smoothly.

Tonight was one of those nights. My husband had to work later than usual so I had to pull “double duty.”

But, I survived. And in surviving I realized how a huge part of the battle of doing it alone is the fear of doing it alone.

When you’re married, you assume, for better and worse, that you will have help from your spouse. You rely on your spouse for help because you can. But, I’ve learned through the past five times that I’ve done it alone, doing it alone is a lot easier when you can convince yourself that you are capable of doing it alone, that no one else can save the day, that it’s just you.

In relying on yourself, you realize your own strength and pull through because you have to. I can’t say that I can relate to the plight of single mothers. My hat goes out to them daily. But, I can say that in doing it alone, I realize a piece of what seems to give them strength to go on– the belief that it can be done alone and that they are capable.

My time’s up. Darn it.

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4 Responses to Going it alone

  1. You’ve just articulated my fears! And reassured me that I am probably underestimating myself 🙂

    • Jessica says:

      Yes, you are! You will arise to the occasion. I know it! I stressed about doing nights alone so much during my pregnancy. But, now that I’ve done it a few times, I realize my fears were unfounded. I am more capable than I gave myself credit for.

  2. Adriel Booker says:

    You did it!! 🙂 I’m so excited to see where this leads us.

    I can really relate to this post. I often feel like I “need” my husband in order to survive with the kiddos! (And of course I do “need” him!!) But I’ve also had to realize that I am more capable than I give myself credit for when I have to step up to the plate on my own. It’s good to be reminded!

    • Jessica says:

      Yes, I did do it! And, I feel so proud of myself!! I am so excited about taking this journey with you!! And, yes, it is nice to be reminded. I often forget that I can do just fine alone until I am forced to do it alone. Then, then I realize that I can.

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