When I started this blog about two weeks ago, I imagined that I’d use it to practice writing, five minutes a day. I hoped (keyword: hoped) that the five minute, unedited writings would be just what I needed to get in “writing shape.”
And, since starting this blog, I have written every day (well, almost everyday) about a range of topics from motherhood to writing to shoulder pads.
But, now, now, not even having written here for a month, I’m starting (because I can’t spell beginning for the life of me, oh wait, I spelled it!) to have second thoughts.
I feel divided, like my two blogs, Short Little Bits and Mommyhood NEXT RIGHT are my children but they have different dads and we share custody and I only see them some of the time but never together. That makes no sense, but okay.
The point is that I feel divided writing here and there. I feel like I want to simplify but really don’t know how.
Maybe this is just a phase I’m going through, but I want to do something different here. Or, better yet, I thought that in writing this blog, I would do something different here, something spontaneous, something unintentional, something fun.
But, well, I realized in doing this here, that it’s harder to do something different when what seems the same comes so natural to you (if that makes sense). It’s natural for me to talk about motherhood all the time because 24 hours out of my day are devoted to me being a mom. Okay, 24 is an overstatement. Maybe more like 22 hours of my day, not including the time that I’m sleeping.
So, yes, I talk about motherhood a lot. Does that make me a one-note writer? Well, I hope not. But, maybe, maybe in not writing poetry (like I once could) about the hunger epidemic and starting novels about a young boy in Somalia, maybe I do seem one-note at this point in my life.
And, while I should feel bad about this and begin to question why it’s mother than makes me want to write most now, I don’t.
This is me.
I write about motherhood and other stuff on the side because I want to. I want to write about more “lofty” ideas but my brain is mostly fried and my life is out of context. Okay, that sounded bad. But, okay, that’s what came out.
So, if I write about motherhood here and at my main blog, then why the divided homes. Why??
I want you to tell me what to do, but I won’t. I’ll continue writing at my two online homes for now until I have breakfast and figure something else out. *sigh.