When I was a working girl (no, not that kind of working, but employed), and when I would get sick, I had but one hope.
My hope was that along with any illness, I lose my voice in time for my morning calls to call off work that day. A scrappy, raspy voice on the other end, I thought, was a surefire way to scream “I’m sick. I’m miserable. Please take sympathy on me.”
I imagined that in hearing my voice, my boss would say something along the lines of “Oh, you sound horrible. Take off as long as you need. Get some rest. And call me when you’re better.”
Yeah. That was what I always imagined. But when I had a job of all the two times that I’ve ever been sick, I’ve never, ever lost my voice. Never ever. And this made the whole calling in to work thing tough for me. Because naturally my voice is very chipper. I sound happy all the time, even when I’m sick because sounding happy is like a reflex that gets turned on when I’m on the phone with my superiors.
“How are you feeling?” says boss.
“I’m feeling pretty bad,” said with smile on face.
Though I would really feel bad, sounding bad was tough for me to actual do when nervous and feeling like I needed to perform “feeling bad.”
So, I would hope to lose my voice, to get a raspy, Marge Simpson tone for phone calls to call of work. That, I figured, would be my ticket.
But I never did lose my voice then.
I did lose my voice this past week, however. Yes, now that I’m unemployed and can’t call of work, even if I wanted. Now I’ve lost my voice. And sounding like Marge to tell my toddler not to paint on the walls or when reading the “Little Engine that Could”? It’s no fun. No fun at all.
Am I the only one out there who’s ever hoped to lose their voice just for the calling off work phone call? Huh? Huh? Really. I want to know!