This post should be written on my other blog, but since this is on my mind tonight, I’m writing it here. This post is about sleep, specifically my baby’s sleep, or my toddler’s sleep. When she was born, she was never that great of a sleeper. Or, wait, maybe when she was first born she was a good sleeper, but my perceptions of her sleep as a new mom were mostly unrealistic. So, then, I thought she wasn’t a good sleeper, so we began cosleeping and that worked.
I loved cosleeping but then as she got older, things got complicated and, then, I came to hate cosleeping, a bit. But then, I got pregnant and very tired and I came to love cosleeping, again. Love-Hate-Love.
Today, my toddler is no longer cosleeping, she sleeps in her own bed, but she still needs someone to lie down with her in order to get her comfortable enough to settle into sleep. This does not bother me. When I was pregnant at nine months, and sleeping on a toddler bed with my toddler, I was not really bothered. And now that I’m not pregnant, and have a full size bed, and am sleeping in a bed with my toddler, I’m still not bothered. But, sometimes, I wonder whether I should be bothered. Sometimes. Like tonight. When I wanted to put her down like my baby goes down and walk out of the room.
But she would never have this. Or, maybe she would but I’m too afraid to try, or maybe I’m not ready to really commit to a truly independent sleeper, or to what it would take to get a truly independent sleeper.
The whole thing about a baby’s sleep is that we, as parents, often obsess over it. But the point is that it happens, not how it happens, right?