the hardest part of co-parenting is…

…accepting that you can’t make your parenting partner into something that resembles you. It’s accepting that you must let go of control, of your way in order to allow your parenting partner to find their way.

This is hard, harder than one would expect when they don’t have kids. I know as a single woman, I assumed that co-parenting would be easy. After all, all I needed to do was to find that right guy who wanted to have kids and then we’d work through things together.

But, the thing that no one tells you is that often in a co-parenting relationship the knowledge field is not even. Usually, it’s the mom who knows more from doing on how to raise a child. This is true for working moms and stay at home moms. Usually, it’s the dad who is often sheltered from the day to day trials, tribulations, and mountain climbs of parenthood.

So, mothers usually enter parenthood, or the top of the cliff that is parenthood first. Fathers usually follow. This was true in my family home and it’s true in my home as well. Today, my husband learned that toddlers will always say “no” when asked to sit on the potty. Always.

This lesson? Well, for me, it’s so six months ago. But for my husband it’s new. So, there’s a delay there between us, one that we parent and try to communicate about parenting around, but it’s tough.

STOP.

How do you overcome the strains that often come with co-parenting?

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One Response to the hardest part of co-parenting is…

  1. Oh gosh this post hits home closely, girl!
    It’s hard and a lot of times I have to bite my tongue and not lashing out on the things that Mr. X did wrong when he had my son. I can’t control that. I try to reminds him of the important stuffs but he sometimes didn’t do them – like that one time my boy came home with mosquito bite marks all over his body coz Daddy forgot to put the mosquito repellent lotion on – and I strongly told him I expect him to pay attention to little stuffs that really is important like that. I try to handle it like a business partner in a way because really you can’t control how they do their parenting acts. But so far it’s only been the little things that annoys the heck out of me 🙂

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