I hate numbers. Correction: I hate to use numbers to define parts of me. I hate thinking of my thighs and hips as fitting into a certain size jeans that differs depending on what store I’m shopping. I hate shopping for my shoe size and having to ask for a size 9 when a cashier asks me for help at a shoe store.
I hate defining myself through numbers, so I don’t. When I go shopping, I shop for the pair of pants that looks like they will fit. I usually start with the size I should be at and work my way down (or usually up).
Blogging in the community of bloggers that I’ve found myself in is tough because to many numbers do matter. Stats do matter. For some, stats are the difference between a job or not. For me, stats don’t matter. But they seem to matter when I begin to lump myself into those other bloggers for whom stats do matter.
But they don’t matter. I got into blogging without a plan, but I’ve come to realize, only two years later, that I got into blogging to somehow, indirectly, make a turn through motherhood into my passion, which is writing.
I want to write. I want to make books and publish articles and write. That’s all. So while I must chose to define myself by numbers to get a pair of jeans that fits, in this field I find myself, I must remember not to try to define myself by numbers. Just write. Yeah. Just write.
This post was a bit all over the place, but the point that I’m trying to make is that so often in blogging it can be easy to conflate others’ desires for their blogs with your own desires. In many conversations on being a better blogger, I listen, but until now, I did so for the sake of actually getting better. I’m at the point now, however, where I no longer want to be a better blogger. I want to be a better writer. I want my feet to planted firmly towards that goal and nothing else.
Do you understand me? Can you relate? Do you often feel pressure to worry about stats as a writer who stumbled in through blogging just because other bloggers are concerned about those things?